Two Old Tales for Tax Week

 

Here in tax week and apropos of nothing really, I recalled a couple of stories about citizen’s interactions with our nation’s public servants. The first was told to me twenty five or more years ago by a man who was old then and is probably long since dead now. I don’t recall his name, and so I’ll call him Smith. One day years before he told me the story, Smith and his wife were being rudely threatened and insulted in their home by a nasty IRS agent wearing a green sports jacket. At one point the agent turned to Smith and said “do your realize I can throw you in jail?”. Being something of a hard head, Smith replied “do you realize I can blow your brains out?”. The agent then left in a hurry. Smith then picked up the phone, called the local IRS office, and warned them that there was a man in a green sports jacket going around town impersonating an IRS agent and threatening people. According to Smith that was the end of affair, and he never heard any more from the IRS.

The second was told me over thirty years ago by a colleague named Bob. Bob lived out in the country in the plains of west Texas. He enjoyed guns and shooting and decided it would be fun to become gun dealer. He filed his application with the ATF, and eventually an agent named Chauncey showed up to interview him. He took Chauncey out to the small out building behind his house which he intended to use as his store. Bob had applied for an ordinary license to deal in sporting and personal arms, but somehow in the bureaucracy his application had been coded as one for a license to deal in weapons of war. When Chauncey asked Bob what he would be doing with a license to sell such weapons, Bob, instead of explaining the error, decided to have a little fun. He stepped outside and pointed to the flat plains around him and said “well I guess I’m not going to be selling them to the communists in the hills”. That was a mistake. Chauncey was not amused, but eventually the error was corrected, and Bod got his license.

I believe Bob’s story. It sounded just like him. I’m more skeptical of Mr. Smith’s tale, but both are interesting yarns.