Help with Packaging

In  the last few days various companies have changed or announced plans to change the names of some of their products in response to demands from Black Lives Matter and other leftist groups. Clearly the products will need new names.  In the spirit of going along and avoiding divisiveness, I have some suggestions.

The first one is easy. Replace the picture of a black man on Uncle Ben’s rice packages with one  of Stalin and call it Uncle Joe’s rice.  Featuring one of their favorites  in that way should earn the rice company all sorts of praise from BLM, Antifa, and a good number of Democrats and media people.  Coming up with a replacement for Aunt Jemima is a little harder, but I think Auntie Eva, in honor of Eva Braun might work.  She is not that well known anymore, but she decidedly wasn’t a person of color, and she was the partner of a famous vegan activist and advocate for strong vigorous government  and the politics of direct physical action. That could be a good sop to the Antifa crowd.  For Eskimo Pie the company could replace the picture of the Eskimo on the ice cream bar  with one of a happy, re-educated inmate of the Gulag and call  it a Kolyma Freeze. Of course they would have to check and make sure Ben and Jerry hadn’t trademarked the name already.  

The Disney company is also making some changes. They need something to replace the Uncle Remus characters on  the splash mountain ride. I don’t have a good idea here. They could use the characters from Animal Farm, cuted up and slanted properly,  but I doubt that would really work. Somebody might have read the book. Orwell is so problematic.