Not Getting to Know You

It is not a trivial activity to learn what another human being is really like. It usually takes time and effort.  The  time and effort can be well spent when selecting friends, lovers, or certainly a husband or wife.  However there are many other times when it is not  necessary or worthwhile  to expend them because something else is fully sufficient.

Suppose you are listening to your local superintendent of schools pitching a bond issue. You know she has said things that were false when she argued for bond issues and other funding in the past.  You  do not know if she was lying, careless, stupid, or simply honestly misinformed  when she did so. You do not know enough about her character and intelligence even to have an opinion,  but you do know  what you need to know to make a decision. You know enough not to accept her new claims and promises without separate verification and guarantees.

Consider an American president who fairly consistently behaves as though he despises the country, its basic principles, and most of the people in it, including you. From following him in the news and reading things he has said or written, you have evidence that leads you to believe those are his actual sentiments.  However  you have never met the man. You realize that  some people you respect who know him  think he is only  misguided and  not ill-intentioned.  You might like to know definitely  what sort of person he is, but for  the important purposes of guessing what he might do,  deciding whether to oppose him politically, or making  plans  to protect yourself, you do not need to know.  It is enough to know his pattern of behavior.  You don’t need to peer into his soul, and you probably wouldn’t want to anyway.

Similar things are true for many of life’s interactions.  There are  no general obligations and often no need or good reason  to analyze and draw definite conclusions about people’s  overall motivations and character.  (Which is good thing, because many times neither are there means for doing so fairly, validly, and rationally.)  It is usually enough to learn  what  you need to know about people to decide or accomplish what you want to and let it go at that. Besides one of the benefits of minding your own business is that it leaves you more time to see  to your own business.